Features

I remember various discussions in which either women would ask the men, or men would talk 'mongst themselves, to try and discover what individual traits men found attractive in women. I always found it interesting that many men often had specific hair colors, skin tones, heights or other various 'pet' traits. I've generally had a hard time being as specific as I've generally observed other men be. Not that I have a problem with this. It is a bit confusing though. I remember taking some online test that was supposed to tell you what you found attractive in the faces of the other gender. I took it a few times trying to be certain that I didn't hit a fluke on one of the tests (granted this is all assuming that the test was properly put together). While it generally said I had a slight tendency toward both Hispanic and Caucasian the test stated that I still was open to women of all profiles. I don't know what it is, but I find it rather exciting to think that my future wife could be of any combination of traits.

I think what I hope the most is that I do not allow my eyes to overthrow my capacity to view true character. I hope I don't allow my eye for physical beauty to eclipse my capacity to see true beauty or to chose true beauty over simply the superficial hormonal triggers that nature and culture have to a degree embedded in my being.

--Still Searching

Patient.

This is probably one of the most key traits. I'm not the kind of person that likes to impose on others, but with that said I'm also aware that I have a great many traits that would in all likelihood wear on anyone that I was with for an extended period of time. Many of these traits I've tried, am trying to change, but I lack a great deal in coming even close to squashing them all.

I'm not very orderly. This can, at times, degenerate into me neglecting my surroundings to the point of what many others would consider utter chaos. As touching myself, I've adapted fairly well to surviving in this rather well. Not to say I always live in a mess but I certainly don't always live in immaculate cleanliness. So I hope either I am reborn as to things concerning order on the scale of personal items or that I find a woman willing to kindly but firmly help me to change this habit.

With that said I'm certain that there are many a more items that I'm not even yet privy to that I need to improve. I either hope she is patient with my ignorance or patient in informing me and helping me to change.

I'm also a dunce when it comes to purchasing clothing. She'll have to patiently help me, or patiently bare my inaptitude when it comes to style.

Most of all I hope she'll be patient with my capacity to provide for our family. I will do all in my power to ensure we have the necessities of life. But I have neither the insane talent nor willingness to compromise morals to ensure an abundance of monetary wealth.

I'm certain there are a great many other things concerning myself, and the condition of the family, that will demand patience. I hope often times that she will be capable and willing to be the primary anchor of such patience.

I also stink at spelling.


--Still Searching

Perfection

Absurd, isn't it? To expect perfection. Heck for me to even expect what I've been putting up here while I'm in my sorry state of existence could be, in the eyes of just about any person with an inkling of rational, reason sufficient to laugh me to scorn.

What makes me think I deserve even a woman who's closer to it than I am or striving for it?

I think that's the point. I've been told by many to "marry up," that being to marry someone better than myself. It's something I'd love to, and plan on, doing, in all honesty. But the thing is that this presents the previously mentioned problem of actually finding a soul willing to inhibit aspects of their growth and progression for companionship with me AND the problem of going about such a daunting venture of finding such a person filled with mercy. But I think that's what is intended by the system and the way it's been set up. I don't think any of us are really 'worthy', in and of our selves, for the person that God would have us be with (that statement is assuming that we have one select person, I don't believe that to be the way things are, however, I think there's a sufficiently wide number of potential companions that we could be perfectly happy with and reach our best potentials with). I think realizing that is something that, if we, men, achieve, then we can more properly understand our relationships as they are intended.

I don't mean we're to grovel or that we are worthless. I simply mean that I think the kinds of relationships that we are permitted to have the capacity to create and develop are forms of mercy being extended to us beyond our merit. I actually think the mercy of God has some of it's greatest potential manifestation in the relationship between husband and wife. Of course the more both of them aspire to truths, and to fall in line with those truths, the more likely they are to experience of the mercy that is the relationship between man and wife.

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying other relationships are not manifestations of such love from God NOR am I saying that they are lesser forms of the manifestation, necessarily. Rather I feel that marriage between man and woman is one of the most open conduits through which we can obtain some of the sweetest portions with the least amount of actual contribution on our part. Clearly we must contribute. There's no such thing as an entirely passive relationship. Such is not a relationship at all, rather a mechanical interface between a user and an object being used.

Anyway. That's some of today’s thoughts that I had time and desire to put down in pixels.

--Still Searching

A flower.

She will be/is a beautiful flower.

True to womanhood

She must also be true to womanhood, just as I must be true to manhood.

In all honesty I'm not entirely certain all that either title entails. But I know we must both strive to perfect who we are. This holds as a key aspect our genders.

In fact the more I think about it the more I'm inclined to believe that perfecting, or striving to do such, of our gender is one of the great sources of joy and achievement in this life. So many of us are so tied to seeing those aspects society attributes to each gender and those get overly emphasized, I believe, to the detriment and misdirecting of people against the whole of their gender.

Perhaps this is part of why there's such an attempt to give ambiguity to gender identity. People on all sides are so mistaken in their presumptions as to what is and isn't true manhood or womanhood that they polarize into a fabricated dichotomy in which neither side, of those presented, really understands gender. The true dichotomy, I believe, is between those who are striving to understand and fulfill gender and those who are clinging to whatever dogmatic preconception of gender, pertaining to it's constituency and relevancy, that they may have which conflicts with the true nature of the genders.

So I suppose I found more than I thought I would in spelling out this seeming obvious requisite, at least for myself.

Unfortunately I believe there's so much more that could be touched upon with regard to womanhood and the striving for such that should occur in all women, likewise for men concerning true manhood.

So I suppose I'll think more upon this before I say more on the obtainment of a more perfect and complete womanhood by who ever my future wife may prove to be. Of course I have, as I now realize, an even greater responsibility to discover the nuanced truths that will enable me to more fully fulfill the gender I have. A gender I'm glad to be a part of in light of my own personality, what I've learned thus far of manhood, and my limited knowledge of the fairer sex.

A friend

That's the first thing. She must be a friend. One in the truest sense of the word. I guess since it has connections to "to love" she and I must love each other.

Obviously this means that we (I must be certain on this for myself) must understand, to at least some degree, what love is.

All this clearly will require a leap of faith. For I believe that we all, to some degree, are given love. The faith comes in trusting it, and trusting our discernment of it as such, whenever that may occur in our lives. Rather hard to pin down in words. I'm just glad that words aren't all we have.

Comments welcomed.

I know it's all a bit ambiguous and esoteric when touching words and logical paradigms. Even effort will be appreciated.