The Force of Nature.

I just had to say how much more I’m convinced that I’m only, at the most, half of myself. I just know from what life’s presented me with so far that man was designed to need a woman. I’m sure there are things that complicate or can misdirect that but I’m certain that we were designed, and not merely in a physical, sexual, biological way to only be complete with the ‘fairer sex’ but that our most inner parts, those parts most tied to our actual beings are directly connected to the need to become one, body, soul, and mind, with a member of the other gender. While it’s a beautiful force it’s also distressingly powerful. There has to be so much power, biologically and spiritually, tied to this potential connection that it’s no wonder that so much of the good and bad of this world stem from good or bad employments of these potential connections. Like all the other forces of nature---Gravity, Electro-magnetism, the Nuclear forces, they all have such a capacity to alter in massive ways our existence. Yet even in the face of all these, love, as it’s either expressed or exerting pressure to be expressed, between the sexes has to be the most powerful force I think I’ve consciously observed. Though the observation has not revealed to me much more than what I’ve gotten out of observing the likes of gravity.

All I can say is that I pray I can receive the strength and capacity from somewhere to keep myself from receiving more harm than good from any certain connection I will engage in with this force.

I sure hope I get better at preparing for and finding a soul mate, or some one who will become such (as I believe it’s not generally something that just pops into being full fledged—certainly with some the seeds of such are a bit more apparent)

--Still Searching

Imagination and Conviction

It's always a strugle between assurance and caution. I both need to be, and am looking for, a balance between confidence in what is good and right---while still maintaining a flexibility that will not block out future manifestations of truth, whether it is simply the addition of nuance to a previously held item, a complete revamping of the perception of a value previously held, or the entirely new discovery of something. Reminds me of a quote that I believe is vital to all seeking true redemption and salvation, so it's especialy true in the case of companions as a man and a woman need each other, I believe, to truly find a full and lasting redemption, or in any case utter self-completion.

Thy mind, oh man (or woman), if thou wilt lead a man unto salvation, must stretch as high
as the utmost heavens, and search into and contemplate the darkest abyss

--Joseph Smith

--Still Searching

Perceivable Interest

I will certainly need to notice a degree of interest in me. I've had several interactions, on dates and otherwise, where I simply am incapable of perceiving interest coming from the other direction. I'm certain a great degree of this comes from my ignorance and lack of capacity to differentiate the various signals woman give. I never want to be someone who is oblivious to a girl's lack of interest. I've heard to many girls talk about the creepy guys that wont take a clue. But then I hear about other instances in which a girl does something like freezing up in her interactions because of over excitement. While I honestly have a hard time seeing myself exciting such debilitating excitement in a woman (I'm not ugly but I'm not the paragon of beauty either) I still hold out hope that some beautiful woman (beauty being an all encompasing attribute, while I'd have a hard time fighting hormonal forces I do think I'd be able to resist some stunning super-model who lacked beauty in her personality, even if the impossible occured and she made advances toward me) will, possibly, find me attractive on a sufficient number of levels. So I have this dillema of not wanting to be some creepy, aproaching stalker, guy---but I also don't want to be some spineless jelly that doesn't gain an optimal companionship simply because I'm not sufficiently assertive to demonstrate to some wonderfull woman that I'm willing to "do whatever it takes" for her. I want to be assertive, but not over bearing, so that's helped me determine that I'm going to need a sufficiently warm spark of mutual interest in me. I figure that, if I have a hard time reading, even in the slightest, passed the first couple dates, any significant signal of serious affection, or potential affection, for me, then if the relationship is to go any further she'll need to make it very obvious that that is what she would like.

Help please.

With the awareness of who a few of the readers of this blog are I feel comfortable in asking for a brainstorm of things you would like to do on a date with a guy. Is there anything particular that you've thought would be neat for a first date, or even a twentieth date or whatever. Please give both ideas you would like or those you've heard of that other women have liked or ones you think some women might enjoy.

Thank you in advance.

Engaging

I hope to marry someone who is thoroughly active in life, someone willing to have a complete and balanced interplay. I think having such a balance, if I too can gain and maintain such, will help us both endure more together and enjoy the journey more together. I think a large part of it will consist in both of us being easily talked into activities that either of us wouldn’t normally do, if left to our own devices.

I think that the above, if done correctly, would keep us challenged, excited and involved, and perhaps a bit more exhausted at the end of each day.

--Still Searching

Giddy in Balance and a Lady's Smile

There is something about women that tend, on occasion, to a particular feminine giddiness that, if kept in balance, is terribly attractive. While I hope to find a woman of a deep mind and sound intellect I also hope she'll have a bountiful and balanced share of light hearted giddiness.

I also must, in this next aspect, thank all young and/or attractive women who seemingly smile at a man they don't, or hardly know, in passing. Regardless whether it's in derision, just happenstance, or of divine intention, I must say I've had many a splended day made terribly more happy and joyful by the seeming good natured smile of an attractive woman that I've passed. I don't know if you can comprehend such, just as I'm sure I can't comprehend certain things of your experience. I've passed far too many without asking for a number. How I regret not doing so. How I still cherish the everlasting glow of happiness in my mind that will forever remain due to their simple exertion of expresing their beauty through their smile. I look forward to such a smile in my future wife. If one can make a day, imagine what a life time's worth of such can do for the good of a man's soul.

--Still Searching